The Problem
Many of us approach this holiday season with high expectations. We want to believe in miracles. We want relief from the burden of having to struggle for our survival and compete for our place in the world. We want a sign that the world is managed by a benign intelligence that cares deeply for our wellbeing.
We set up the mega-holiday of Christmas with that promise embedded in it. We teach our children to believe in Santa Claus, a mythical figure who embodies generosity and benevolence. We talk about the miracle of the Christ child’s birth, holding forth the promise that we are loved unconditionally and have nothing to fear.
When the holiday finally comes, the distraction of family, friends, lights, gifts, sugar, and alcohol can relieve some of our anxiety. It can bundle us in warmth, safety, and a sense of plenty. But when it’s over, we find ourselves back where we started with nothing changed.
Flooding ourselves and our loved ones with extravagance may offer a momentary sense of abundance, joy, and even gratitude. But that glow can fade quickly, leaving us more disillusioned than before. The promise failed again, it is no wonder that many of us sink into depression or harden ourselves against future disappointment by becoming cynical about the magic of Christmas and forging ahead.
What to Do?
It is time to take a closer look at this holiday. Let’s look at what is really going on and how we can make it work better for us.
Most of us are simply missing our part in the discovery of miracles. We still want someone else to make them happen for us, and mistake indulgence and distraction for true self-care. We don’t yet realize that discovering the silver lining in life takes some dedicated effort.
The best part of making Christmas day so special is that it reminds us of our longing. The promise of Christmas awakens our deepest desire to live in a world of safety, abundance, celebration, and community. On this day you can feel some of your resentment, grudges, and failures fade away. You can see the possibility of a new beginning where everything is fresh and bright.
Now it is up to you to find a way to connect with this experience daily. Christmas shows us the value of forgiving, being forgiven, and starting over. It gives us a taste of the freedom of letting go of the past and opening our hearts to new possibilities. It offers a glimpse of living without fear, anxiety, or past hurts.
Think of the pageantry, songs, and scripture about a magical, innocent child being born in the humblest of circumstances who offers us a fresh new beginning full of hope and promise. The Christ child gives us a connection with God, a human link to our creator, and enables us to remember that we are all part of one creation called life.
The weight of thinking that we have to fight for our place in the world and compete with each other for survival wears us down and makes life seem impossibly hard. The message of Christ, and the promise of Christmas, is that we don’t.
For a moment on Christmas you can feel connected to people, animals, plants, and all of life, dispelling the demons trying to convince you that you’re alone in the world. We are part of one whole living universe that is eternally creating life. We have a chance to feel that on this special day. Then it’s up to each of us to keep the feeling alive.
The Medicine of Christmas for Everyone
This notion of opening our hearts and letting others in as medicine for our weary soul is not the property of any one religion. Whatever your belief, the predicament that we face, and the promise of a sacred day like this, is the same for us all.
All religions have their sacred days, and offer the same opportunity for renewal. It doesn’t matter what we call it. The eternal hope that we are truly all connected is at the core of any real teaching, teacher, faith, or religion. And we can all celebrate that together on this day.
Remember that this holiday season occurs in late December because of winter Solstice. This is the longest night of the year, when we are most surrounded by darkness in the north. And it marks the beginning of the earth tilting the northern hemisphere back toward the sun.
Solstice was a great day of celebration to our pre-Christian ancestors of the north. And it still is to many of us today. It is a universal, tangible sign of renewal and the rebirth of light coming out of darkness.
All of us can celebrate the season of Christmas, each in our own way. It is simply a time to give attention to what is most important in life. It is perhaps the one day when we as a society stop what we are doing, recognize the people we care about most, and open our hearts to the beauty of the present moment.
Think of the Christmas holiday as a kind of medicine that reminds you what really matters and offers a way to revive yourself and come alive again. Find a way to use this occasion to further your pursuit of light, love, and truth.
Don’t get caught up in the indulgence, but rather focus on the good cheer, forgiveness, connection, and wishing each other well. Pay attention to how good it feels to let go of your burdens for a moment and start anew, and let this remind you to make that a daily practice.
Christmas, Solstice, Hanukkah, New Year’s Eve, or whatever day you celebrate this season, is a chance to pause, reflect, appreciate what you have, and set yourself up for a new start.
Find a way that works for you, and help others do the same. Don’t mistake indulgence for self-care, and don’t waste this precious opportunity to really stop and start over. If you do, you will likely wake up disappointed, with a hang-over, all hopes dashed, hoping for a better holiday season next year.
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